Only three—or maybe two—weeks left.
My midwife appointments are always a bit dramatic these days. Unfortunately, this week’s appointment was not tear-free. I had wanted to do another ultrasound, on the off-chance that the placenta would’ve moved by now, but my midwife squashed that idea: she said there was absolutely no chance that the placenta would have moved. Which was a bit disappointing, but I just didn’t feel like pushing to make it happen.
Then, after the midwife appt, Hubs and I met with our surgeon who will be doing the c-section.
We have a female doctor doing the surgery–which I think is pretty awesome! I set up a time to meet with her, just so I could ask questions–and honestly so that I could emphasize to her that we do want future kids, and that it was so important to me that I avoid an emergency hysterectomy. I felt like if I could meet her, then I would feel better about the surgery itself (because I knew her personally), AND I felt like if she met me that she’d work harder to do all she could for me.
I wasn’t expecting her to create a NEW plan for this baby’s delivery, but that is exactly what happened.
Dr. L was intense! Exactly how you would picture a surgeon. She zipped into the room, leaned forward on her seat, and locked eyes with me for the entirety of our time with her.
She was all-in, knew everything about my case, and her questions and answers came in a rapid, succinct volley. She constantly cited statistics, which was a little comforting to me, and was impressed by how much I knew (I used a lot of medical terms, what can I say, I’ve done my research).
The first thing she said was that she was ordering me another ultrasound so that she could see the positioning of the placenta, and hopefully ascertain if there is placenta accreta involved. The accreta is when the placenta grows into the uterine wall, and that is what would lead to an emergency hysterectomy. She said sometimes she can tell from the ultrasound if that is present or not. So she ordered that, and then she told me that she would prefer that I deliver at 37 weeks pregnant rather than my scheduled 38 weeks. She wants to move my c-section date up sooner, to avoid any major bleeds and an emergency c-section situation.
Well. Okay, then.
So instead of three weeks left, I might have only two weeks: which terrifies me.
We finished up the appointment talking about the type of incision she will perform, what I should do if I start bleeding, what I need to do from now on, and the chances of my having a hysterectomy.
I cried all the way home. Every one of these appointments, I go into the office psyching myself up–“I will NOT be afraid, I will NOT be intimidated, it will all be OKAY”. But I usually leave incredibly overwhelmed, with a lump in my throat.
I know that at this point, they are just trying to manage risk–if we wait too long for the c-section then my risk goes up of having major bleeding. If they have the c-section too soon then they risk baby’s lungs not being fully developed. So everyone is trying to make their best educated guess, and hope that it is the right one.
On top of all these worries I have a week and a half of work left to finish, I’m training the person taking over my job, dealing with all the daily tasks, and trying to finish the most important items on my baby to-do list. Oh, and stay off my feet, take it easy, not lift anything and stay positive.
I know that making it to 40-42 weeks must be so hard, but I must admit that I am mourning losing those last few weeks of rest, and preparation! This baby is coming 3-5 weeks earlier than expected, and I am feeling increasingly overwhelmed about all the risks, fears, and upcoming surgery.
About all those emotions…
I am feeling ALL of the emotions these days. I am hoping that they are due to my pregnancy, because otherwise I might just be turning into a depressing/anxiety-ridden/teary-eyed-crazy woman. So let’s blame it on the pregnancy. 😉 Actually, I was telling my Mom about all those emotions–how I’ve been mourning leaving my job, feeling sad about everything, and my constant mood swings–and she just laughed and laughed at me. Which made me feel a lot better. If my Mom, who has been through six pregnancies, says that all these emotions are a normal part of the last weeks of pregnancy, then I’ll believe her. Pass the tissues, please.
On Making it to 35 Weeks
How far along: 35 weeks. I MADE IT TO 35 WEEKS PREGNANT! I just walked on air all day when I finally hit that milestone. Baby is in such a good place these days, that I am feeling so much better about his/her health if I had to have an early emergency C-section. I am so relieved that we’ve made it this far despite the previa.
Due date: August 29th is my due date. My scheduled C-section is set, but now they want to move the c-section four days earlier, which means it might be only about two weeks away. Gulp.
Gender: It’s a surprise!
How big is baby? Baby L is the size of a honeydew melon! Baby feels kind of like a melon in there. My midwife was feeling around, trying to find out whether baby is still head down or not–and she remarked that my belly is all baby: very tight, very compact, and very much full of a baby. Baby is now about 5.5 pounds and 20 inches long.
Fun fact: my uterus has now grown 1,000 times its normal size. Isn’t that astounding? Okay, moving on…
This week, baby: Baby’s kidneys are now fully developed, and his liver is beginning to process waste. Most of his/her physical development is done! From now on, baby will mostly just be working on gaining weight! What a fun job to have. Ha ha!
How are you feeling physically: I am actually feeling pretty good this week. If I spend too much time on my feet–it really wipes me out–so I have to kind of alternate between doing gentle housework and sitting down and doing my virtual assistant work, but as long as I’m careful, I’ve felt pretty good. I’ve been using Biofreeze on my back, using my beloved ice pack at night, getting adjusted, and I scheduled another massage appointment for next week. So I’m trying to do everything in my power (that I am allowed to do) to feel okay.
How are you feeling emotionally? I am pretty much a mess most days. I am so scared about the next few weeks, plus we just have a lot going on right now. I am trying to handle this all by spending lots of time with Hubs, my family, and friends, staying very busy (albeit without being physically active), praying a lot, feeding myself well, working on de-junking our apartment, and keeping my mind occupied at all times. I’ve just got to make it for another few weeks.
What I’m googling: “how to install a Graco carseat”. Seriously, you guys, if you have any good resources send them my way! I think we might have to resort to following a Youtube video.
Purchases I’ve made/nesting update: We finally broke down and bought a TV. Which I feel a bit guilty about considering our changing job(s) situation, my overall guilt about watching TV, et al…but we got a really good deal on it, we’ve been without a TV for a year, and it would be nice to be able to rent a DVD, stay in with baby and have a movie night in the upcoming months! Hubs is working on mounting the TV, and my sissy came over and helped me fill my two new bookshelves. I ordered two bookshelves from Target a few weeks ago, using the last of my bridal shower gift cards, and I’d been itching to fill them! Hubs built them for me this week, and Amalia (my sister) came over and hauled all the books from every corner of our apartment to fill them. We’ve never had big bookshelves, so all my books, cookbooks, and textbooks have been wedged in various spots for our entire marriage. It feels so good to have them all in one space–where they belong–and to open up other storage space in the kitchen, bedroom, and living room.
I, also, found this boomerang pillow at Goodwill for $6 (it is normally $28), and I snatched that puppy up! I’ve avoided buying a big ol’ pregnancy pillow per my readers (thanks Katie!) recommendations, but this one was a lot smaller, inexpensive, and something I can use after baby gets here, so I decided to give it a go. I love it so far!
Maternity clothes: Some of my size small maternity shirts are now too small. Sob! I’ve got a week and a half left of work, and I’m down to one work shirt and one pair of scrubs that sort of fit me. And I only have 2-3 weeks left of pregnancy, so I’ll probably just recycle the same outfits over and over until then.
Sleep: Sleep has been okay. I sleep pretty soundly during the night, I just have to get up a few times, and switch from side to side when my hips hurt.
Best moments this week: Reaching 35 weeks, setting up the bookshelves with my sis, chatting on the phone with Mom, and hanging out with Hubs.
Worst moment this week: That scary midwife appointment.
Movement: Baby is still moving a lot. It feels like his/her feet are up inside my ribs. Not below them—inside them. Some of his/her movements have been uncomfortable this week as foot as met with my ribcage. My midwife thinks that Baby might be breech–which doesn’t really matter since I’m having a c-section anyway–but I am really sure that baby is still head down due to his/her movements. So we’ll see at our ultrasound on Monday!
Cravings/Eating: I was happy to find out that my iron-levels were so good! Yay! I’ve been eating lots of fruit, nachos, steamed veggies with butter, and turkey meatloaf this week.
Symptoms: Rib, low back, neck and hip pain.
Looking forward to: I’m looking forward to seeing Baby on the ultrasound screen on Monday, but dreading finding out anymore bad news. I’m hoping it will all look good.
To-dos from last week:
Build and fill the bookshelves + get rid of headboard, make those pesky phone calls, renew license, take boxes to Goodwill, and install car seat.
I didn’t get hardly any of these day, alas! I will have to this week! Only a few weeks left! Ack!
To-dos for this week:
- Hubby-do-list: Get rid of headboard + take boxes to Goodwill
- Make those pesky phone calls
- Renew license
- Install car seat
- Pack hospital bags
- Have budget meeting
- Schedule pedicure
Well, I have more to say, but my goodness this post is almost 2,000 words already! Only TWO more bumpdates after this—and then my next post will probably be an announcement of some sort! Baby is almost here! Thank you for going on this crazy journey with me, sweet reader!